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February 18, 2009
Introspection , Life , Writing : Good question, Anne
I took last Friday off, which together with Monday being a holiday meant that I had a nice 4-day weekend. On Monday night Anne asked me a very good question for which I didn't have a great answer, and it has got me thinking (and blogging). Thanks Anne.
As background, several weeks ago Anne asked me another good question; but one which I have thought about a lot and therefore had a ready answer. She asked me "If you knew you only had 2 months to live, what would you do". My answer, without any hesitation, was "write". The reality is that while there certainly things I hope to do someday before I die; in most cases I would not have any regrets if I did not get to do them. I believe I have a life after this one, and that gives a very different sense of perspective and value on what I do here. Will I really care after 1000 years of being with God if I never visited Tokyo in this life? I suspect not.
The only real exception to that is that I have done a lot of thinking in my life about a lot of topics and have not communicated most of my thoughts to anyone else. While I may still be wrong in many of my opinions, to go on to what's next without communicating the fruits of my mental labors (whatever their value) to anyone here would seem like a waste to me. So, if I knew I was going to die soon, I would focus on getting down in black and white as many of my thoughts as I could – kind of my version of "The Last Lecture".
That wasn't however the good question Anne asked this week.
Monday night, Anne first repeated the same question above, and I gave the same reply: "write". Then she asked: if that was true, why did I not spend any of this long weekend writing?
D'oh
What I actually did this weekend was for the most part read and spend 12 hours playing a computer game (I am budgeting the time I spend playing games, and that was the limit I set for myself – I actually ran over by about an hour when I add up the sessions). I had actually intended to write some on Sunday; but I never actually got around to it.
Anne's question is an important one. If writing is what I would spend my last weeks doing, I really should be making more of an effort to spend time doing it now. Just as I am limiting the time I spend playing games, I should be setting aside time each week to write, and long weekends should have extra time allocated to a task that is so important to me.
Now part of the problem is that other than this blog, I'm not sure how to start attacking the other writing projects I have. There are, conceptually at least, several books I would like to write (some fiction, some non-fiction); but every time I have tried to start one I have been overwhelmed by the enormity of the task (a common problem with writers). The recommend solution is to just start writing and worry about the "big picture" later after you have some pieces done, understanding that the pieces may well need to be re-written.
Another part of the problem is that the unread books on my shelf continue to weigh on me psychologically, and I want to spend time reading to reduce their number (that was certainly what motivated me this weekend). Particularly with the Kindle2 showing up in a couple of weeks, I want to focus on clearing out the old "atom" books before I start in with the "bits" ones.
Regardless, Anne is right. If writing is important enough to me that I would spend my last days doing it, I really do need to make a greater effort to do it now. I haven't quite thought through how to organize myself for that; but it is a change I need to make.
Again, thanks Anne.
Posted by Steven at February 18, 2009 05:00 AM
Comments
Good post. As usual, I'm going to pick an unintended part and launch off of that...
You wrote: "Will I really care after 1000 years of being with God if I never visited Tokyo in this life? I suspect not."
This made me start wondering what a person *would* care about after 1000 years of being with God. It wouldn't be video games. It wouldn't be the latest Joss Whedon effort to grace the screen. It might very well be the distilled thoughts and comments gleaned from readings done in this life.
So I'm going to argue that your priorities are straighter than you think, that the reading *is* important, and that the allocation made to video games is the one that seems out of place.
And as for the writings, the last lecture you mention is dependent on how many will be exposed to that last lecture. If you write it, and few read it, can you really presume it has as much purpose as you seem to be giving it? Again, I would argue the reading paves the way for the 1000 years, the writing will just seem inadequate once you've had the 1000 years to consider what you'd written.
Posted by: roland at February 18, 2009 11:40 AM
Ro,
I started writing a reply to this and ended up with something post-sized, so look on Friday for my response.
Posted by: StevenS at February 18, 2009 01:20 PM
kewl. so I asked a good question too!
Posted by: roland at February 19, 2009 12:32 PM
