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December 20, 2005
Life : Trying to relax
I'm on vacation for the last two weeks of December this year, and I am currently still in the phase of trying to downshift into a state of relaxation (the fact that I had something specific I needed to do for several hours Monday didn't help). This usually lasts for 3-4 days before I'm finally chilled, so vacations that only last a week or less are fairly useless for me – long weekends I don't even bother.
Relaxation has always been an issue for me – just ask Anne, who had a hard time getting me to just lie in the sun for half-hour on our honeymoon. As has come up in this blog before, there has always been so much I want to do, that I don't feel comfortable unless I am making the most of my time, so relaxation doesn’t come easily to me.
My natural inclination is to plan my days off by trying to fit as much into it as I can. They become a kind of jigsaw puzzle – I can fit these two DVDs in before lunch, then I should have just enough time after lunch to write something for my blog before I go out to a movie. Then when I get home, I can clear those three TV shows off the Tivo before dinner, and so on. So while I may spend a fair about of time watching TV, movies, DVDs, which are physically restful; my attitude is not one of relaxation. Just ask Anne (again) about my old natural response when she used to try to insert something in the middle of my carefully planned day.
Fortunately, a side effect of cleaning out my life is that the pressure is coming off. I am planning my days less carefully, which means I am more amenable to Anne's additions to my day. Still, after more than forty years, relaxation is something which just doesn’t come naturally to me – I am having to learn how to do it.
For most of my life, there have really only been two activities which naturally get me to relax. The first is prayer and meditation. While it does usually take me 10-15 minutes to calm down; once I do, I can get into a very relaxed state while spending time with God. I don't know where I'd be spiritually if I hadn't learned at least that. Still, once I finish my prayer time, it doesn’t take long for my life to rush back into its normal hectic state.
The other activity which often (although not always) is relaxing for me is doing photography. I think it's because to take good pictures I have to slow down and really observe the environment around me to spot the shots. Normally, I am too focused on getting someplace to do the next thing to bother observing much about my environment; but with photography, the whole exercise is about observation. You can't plan the best shots, you have to discover them; and I often find that the more intensely I look, the harder they are to find. I have to get into a relaxed state and let the shots happen. It's almost like a form of meditation, although instead of communing with God, I am communing with my environment.
Well, back to trying to chill enough that I gets some real relaxation time this holiday.
Posted by Steven at December 20, 2005 07:20 PM
Comments
I have the same problem. Because I don't have much time for "relaxing" activities like reading novels or writing fiction during the school year, I feel like I need to squeeze in lots of books and lots of writing during breaks. But that attitude makes leisure time a lot less relaxing. I think the key is to get away from feeling the need to be "productive" and just enjoy whatever I'm doing. Unfortunately, this isn't as easy at it should be.
Posted by: Kristen at December 21, 2005 06:00 PM
I have ten days off around Christmas. I fully intend to finish the basement I've been working on, write a bunch of code for some work on the side, and do a bunch of writing. My blood pressure is telling me I'd be better of emulating my cats - yawn, stretch, 'Is it time to get fed?'
Can't do it though. Nope, nope, nope, nope.
Posted by: roland at December 22, 2005 07:27 AM
And for the record, last night I finally made the transition from "doing relaxing things" to "being relaxed". All I can say is "Ahhhhhh..."
Posted by: Steven at December 22, 2005 10:11 AM
